Zurg Ü

Created By TailsDoller2, Devonte And Boltgon

WARNING: Contains swears and blood.

So you’ve heard of Zurg, right? Y’know, the the arch nemesis of Buzz Lightyear and the villain from Toy Story 2?

Yes? But did you know there was an entire pilot episode about him?

I found the tape on Pixar HQ.

And yes, that's right, I walked into Pixar Headquarters and attempted to find the lost Zurg tape if they would even be able to do something about it.

They didn't exactly take me seriously.

I spoke to Joe Ranft but he just....laughed at me. He wouldn't stop FUCKING laughing. He just kept laughing and laughing and LAUGHING at me as his face turned into the human personification of the fucking laughing with tears emoji like a fucking banshee.

He then pulled out a fucking water gun and fuckin' sprayed me with it. What the fuck? He was like a fucking baby.

"Pew pew!" Joe Said.

Honestly, what the hell? Was he fucking mentally ill or some SHIT?!

Finally, he began to speak between bursts of laughter.

"Go look in the trash, Rigbone!"

He kicked me out of the HQ and I looked in the trash cans, and I found it. The tape labeled "Zurg's attempt to shine".

I took it home.

What I saw will never leave me.

The episode started with a view of Zurg’s lair with several robots guarding it, as it began playing pop music.

We then see Zurg, who was lying on a robotic lawnchair. He had some headphones on and he was listening to Chocolate Disco by Perfume, which was weird, because he doesn't have any visible ears, but we are talking about living toys, so it doesn't matter.

But he didn’t fucking move.

What the fuck was the point of this? Was he asleep? Was he fuckin' dead?

Finally, Zurg took off his headphones and got off his chair.

"It sucks that Buzz Lightyear kicked my ass. Fucking bullshit, I must say."